The end of an era

I should've known it wouldn't last. Maybe I was too demanding. Too unappreciative, too compulsive. Whatever the reason, our relationship is finished - forever. And now I have to kick the dirty, broken bastard to the curb.

'Cause I ain't coughing up two hundred and thirty-five freaking dollars to have the damn thing repaired, AGAIN.

About two weeks ago, my vacuum just died. Right in the middle of a caffeine-inspired fit of housekeeping. Unlike last summer, there were no dramatic pyrotechnics. The spirit of a trusted, humble appliance simply snuffed out in an otherwise uneventful instant.

It wasn't even that old. And it was a Kenmore, for God's sake. Before I made the leap from hip, single-apartment-dwelling owner of a cheap Target upright to mom-bob, raspberry-jam-shirt-stain sporting owner of a pricey canister contraption, I researched back issues of Consumer Reports. I listened to my mother. And where did it get me? Up to my kneecaps in dirt-studded piles of dog hair.

So this afternoon I fired up Stevie. Bugglegirl was ecstatic: Can I touch it, Mommy? Buggledog was indifferent: Check out how much hair I shed just flopping down on the floor! Buggleboy was terrified: [insert crying and outstretched arms waiting to be cuddled here.]

He was fine as long as I was holding him, even giggling a bit when Stevie bonked into a wall or the dining room chairs. After a potty break and his favorite song, he lay down for a nap.

Not ten minutes later, Buggleboy was crying hysterically. Stevie had crashed into his closed door a couple of times. I went in to comfort him, explaining that there was nothing to be afraid of:

Me: Did Stevie scare you?
Buggleboy: (nodding)
Me: It's OK, baby. Stevie just bonked into your door.
Buggleboy: Stevie come get me.
Me: No, honey. Stevie can't open your door. He has no hands. He just cleaned outside your room and he probably won't be back.
Buggleboy: (silence)
Me: Are you all right now, honey?
Buggleboy: Hold me.

I think I'm gonna run Stevie every afternoon for, like, ever.