Fabulosipee

Right now I’m having a hard time writing anything because I’m absorbed in the Kimora Lee Simmons reality show. This episode is about her laughable attempts to “go green” while shooting a fragrance commercial in L.A. Kimora insists that her kids be in the commercial, because her “fabulosity” stems from the happiness her children generate. I’ve heard that each of her two girls has her own nanny (conspicuously absent from the program). Since I’m drinking Bordeaux I can watch it without wanting to crawl into a hole and die.

Today Bugglegirl peed on her bedroom carpet. I didn’t actually see her squatting there, but after her nap I happened to walk in there and spot the wet mark on the floor. I did a sniff test and when I asked her what it was, she looked me dead in the eyes and said she wasn’t sure. She was definitely grinning.

“I had a accident.”

Then she started in with the hand gestures and exaggerated expressions she uses when imitating the conversations I have with friends. “Actually, Mommy, I, you know, I tried to make it to the potty, see? OK? And, um, I had a accident, OK?” She flashed a conspiratorial smile. And I lost it. I had to do the turn-and-cough-into-the- crook-of-my-arm move. I was actually laughing out loud, thankful that she’s still young enough to buy the lie that Mommy was thinking of something else that’s funny; that I was in fact very upset about her lying, not to mention her peeing. But inside I was doing cartwheels and composing my acceptance speech for the Least Neurotic Mom of the Year award. I mean, I was still a good four hours away from popping the cork on that Bordeaux. I need to stop here and have another sip, lest I overanalyze.

Progress, people. It’s fabulous.